CRIMSON THOUGHTS

CRIMSON THOUGHTS

I have been wanting to write a blog about this for almost two weeks now. I just don’t know how I would start with less sensitivity for the issue. It’s kinda’ sentimental to tackle something like this, since it is mostly concerned about my personal/emotional views on what is happening. I just hope I can come up with the right words to deeply express what I have to say, without hurting my readers’ feelings.

Crimson thoughts. That somewhat, is a good title for this. I’ll be honest enough to say that, it was what’s troubling me. I found it hard to imagine the fact that I felt betrayed unwittingly. But it is also hard to consider the culprits. Fate and Destiny might be an apprentice with these. Sad but true, but it’s the “reality bites” that’s killing me the most. I know who to blame. I believe of what’s caused. But, I’m afraid I can’t deal with it face-to-face. It is somewhat like a “broken hope” eaten by “selfless pride”. Angst covered by velvet sky. It’s like trying to enter a door, which is ajar, without touching its very presence. Although, I’ve tried to be perfectly calm and composed, certain circumstances allure my negative feelings, in which I inconsiderably reacted. I suffer inevitable anger, under my shining halo. Well, this was all an emotional back load. The whole story has never told.

“EUTHANASIA”

Kiss me quick oh, death and sorrow
I cannot handle it tomorrow
You driven me to great extent,
Can’t you see now, I’m impotent.
You’ve given me too much of pain,
I don’t know how could I regain
My strength and will to survive,
I wonder how am I still alive.
Everyone sez it’s hard to die
Yet we all seize to live and cry
Griefs were made to make us strong
Why then it lasted very long.
Now, I wonder how many wishes to die?
Since life was made with truth and lies.
Are there some reasons for all this pain?
As there are seasons, for dry and rain.
Give me some reason to live,
Is it enough to end my grieve?
Give me a poison to drink…
It’s the only answer I think…
Kill me…..

I composed this poem long way before, it was only now that I used it. I think it’s perfectly appropriate at this moment of grief and disturbance of character. Funny how I thought, that I have prayed for this before when my life was dull. I wanted some color with my life that I started to wish for some problems that I can proudly accommodate without haste. That’s how confident I am. Until, I was eaten by my own self-esteem. Momentarily, I grieve. Not literally, but affectionately bitter, I think.

People around me began to act mischievous without their knowledge. Slowly I was raged with hatred. I felt marooned under melancholy. I despised them with their true intentions, thinking that cowardice covered them. Such indelicacy is an option, but, it can never dilute an expedient purpose.






“PRICE TAGS”

Talents were useless when it wasn’t use in good purpose. I can predominantly say that my talents were priceless when it’s not priced. I have admired so many talented persons, who stand behind their “Price Tags”. But, I mostly admired those who stands abase, always ready to share their talent for certain “un-priced reasons”. I was always advised to keep up talented personalities, whom you can “depend” (I do hope it’s the right word) on times of specific need. I doubt it now. Why would I need talent if I cannot use it, without paying its tag? That I presume is what happening around my “corner”. Certain producers would rather choose to “buy” small talents but are willing to grow. Grown-up talents would never grow, because they thought they’re already at their peaks. Again, principles are what it counts.

“The world will never change, when money continuous to change our dates.”

- Carpe Diem